


A Valentine's Day Note

by sparky955



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: M/M, MFU_Scrapbook 2015 Valentine's Day Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 21:38:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3356195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparky955/pseuds/sparky955
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Communication between partners is important</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Valentine's Day Note

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yelizaveta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yelizaveta/gifts).



> For Yelizaveta, with wishes for Valentine's Day happiness all year long.

_Napoleon -_

_I'm not certain when I will have the opportunity to see you, so I wanted to send you this brief note._

_I trust you are in the midst of reveling in your High Holy Day, Valentine's Day to the rest of the non-Solo world.  I am pleased to think that you are in the company of a lovely lady, sharing candlelight, a fine champagne, an exquisitely prepared meal and later, a successful completion of The Solo Seduction._

_I am at the conclusion of a quite succesful bird-watching intervention.  To be more precise, it was a successful bird-terminating intervention.  Their little feathered nest full of noxious chemicals intended for the Soweto water system provided a most entertaining demonstration of the effective use of C4.  Unfortunately, I miscalculated slightly in the timing.  I must indeed be getting older because I wasn't quite far away enough from the explosion.  Although my communicator was damaged in the impact, I believe the homing signal is still operative and that I'll soon be picked up.  I sustained a small ankle injury so I thought to occupy my time while I wait I would write a few lines to you.  Do remind me to work on wind sprints when I return to New York.  My lack of speed was not acceptable._

_I wonder if Chaucer's contemporaries would recognize The Feast of Saint Valentine in its modern day incarnation?  However, as legend has it, Valentine's reputation was sealed when he healed the daughter of the man who would be responsible for ordering his execution. And, I was be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the day without confessing a few thoughts to you._

_I'm not certain I've adequately told you how much your friendship means to me.  From the day we were partnered, you have never failed to treat me as an equal. Whatever reservations you privately may have had being partnered with the first Soviet agent in the United States, you did not allow them to affect our working relationship.  That relationship, our partnership, has become the most steadfast pillar of my life and is most sacred to me._

_Still, as I recline here and reflect, I am furthermore compelled to share my more private thoughts with you.  You are, without exception, the most frustratingly womanizing, exorbitantly capitalistic, incessantly preening man I have ever known - and I am most deeply and irrevocably in love with you.  Admittedly, feelings of lust came before feelings of love. You know you are a physically attractive man. (Do try to control your ego upon reading that last sentence.)  I cannot count the nights during which I would dream carnally of taking your body to places it had never been with a man._

_However, as the years passed and our friendship intensified, my lust became tempered with the emotions of love, of protectiveness, of tenderness toward you. (Interspersed, naturally, with feelings of exasperation, annoyance, and occasionally disbelief.)  Rest assured, I would still welcome the opportunity to blow the top of your head -- among other body parts -- off with a prolonged sexual encounter of Grecian proportions.  But, I would equally welcome the opportunity to hold you in my arms and gentle you to sleep with the words "I love you, Napoleon"._

_If we were together on this Valentine's Day, perhaps I would ask you to meet me at the Waldorf.  I would instruct the front desk to give you a key to the private elevator. As the doors of the elevator would open onto the penthouse floor, I would meet you in the foyer with a flute of Krug. I would take your hand and lead you into the ensuite where I would have the jacuzzi area embellished with lighted candles and long-stem roses.  Then, I would quite slowly bring you to the same extent of nakedness as myself. I would climb into the tub and motion you to sit in front of me. I would pull you back to rest against me. And, as the hot water surrounded us and the candlelight illuminated us, I would show you with every word and every touch of my hands and mouth how much I love you._

_Following this interlude, I imagine I would have a prolonged stay in one of The Command's rehabilitation facilities to recover from the broken jaw, two broken arms, two broken legs and broken neck that you would most certainly give me for physically accosting you._

_It's all right, Napoleon.  You are a tolerant man with very few prejudices, but I know you do not regard men sexually.  I believe in my heart and mind that you love me and I can accept that you will never be IN love with me.  I'm not a martyr, but I can live with that portion of my love for you hidden in a corner of my soul.  We are partners and I am grateful for that and that will have to be enough for me.  I will ..._

"You stopped here."

"I stopped what? Good God, Napoleon, where did you find that thing?"

"In the box marked 'tax receipts, 1966'. How many times I have told you, Illya?  You only need to keep receipts for seven years, not twenty-seven!"

"So? I have nightmares of the Internal Revenue Service coming in the night to audit your returns."

"Ha, ha.  This is where you passed out, isn't it?"

"Hmmm, let me see. Oh, probably."

"Some small ankle injury.  They almost had to amputate your leg!"

"Well, they did not and I recovered."

"Well, thank God they gave me your clothes to hold onto after the Medevac got you to the medical center."

"Hmpf. Wasteful. There was no need to cut those trousers off. The material was undamaged."

"Yeah, but the leg inside of them wasn't.  You know?"

"What?"

"I think I'm going to frame this letter."

"Do not tell me you're going to begin collecting sixties memorabilia?  Napoleon, we only have so much room in this house!"

"No.  I want to look at it first thing every morning and last thing every night to remind me to never take you for granted, to remember how close I came to losing you, and to be grateful for it giving me the opportunity to tell you that I was in love with you."

"I thought I was having a morphine-induced hallucination when you did."

"Would you mind?"

"Having more morphine?"

"Blockhead. Would you mind if we went into the bathroom and recreated your scenario with the jacuzzi?"

"We don't have any roses.  Or candles."

"You have all I need."

"I knew it, all along all you've wanted was my body."

"Shut up and kiss me, Kuryakin."

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
